4.5 Gains and Losses

With the paper doing really well, Hirogen has been thinking about her future lately.  Her close working relationship with her colleague Daniel started to develop into something more.

They began discussing their future together and the possibility of moving out and maybe even starting their own family.  I know sometimes Hirogen has expressed concern about whether a journalist living with a politician is the best thing; she can see that for both of us it could cause compromises.

I’ve never felt any problem with this; after all Hirogen has been here all my life and she helped raise me and my sisters.  I know that as my career develops things could become tricky for both of us but I enjoy her company, and it’s been good for mum to have her cousin around.  If she feels the need to move out, I won’t stop her, but I don’t want her to feel she has to leave on my account.

Mum is really enjoying being a grandmother.  She’s often up to feed Luke in the night before Anne-Marie or I can get there!  Despite her advanced years, she’s still working hard for the police, although she’s now mainly training younger recruits to do the detailed criminal profiling she’s become renowned for.

Since Gaius came out of prison, things have been difficult for me politically, but mum has been a real encouragement.  She says she’s proud of me for sticking by my principles and for being loyal to my family as well as to my town.  Although she, like many of her generation, is anxious about the changes coming to our town, she has been nothing but supportive of our proposed constitution and believes by working out strategies for how we can govern our town whilst learning to reintegrate with the wider world, we’re doing a good thing for Riverview.  To know someone I respect as much as my mother believes in what I am doing has been a real boost to me at a time when I’ve needed it.

Anne-Marie is seeing several shoots from the seeds she has developed and it won’t be long before they hopefully grow to become trees and fruit bushes.  During her recent, second bout of maternity leave, she spent every day tending to the seedlings, watering and weeding them.

She has been reading all she can from the books written by the survivors on how to garden, and what different plants do.  She’s very excited at the thought of fresh fruit and vegetables in particular.

Krillitane has been helping Anne-Marie with the gardening where possible, and she continues to monitor the fish that are populating our river once more – we are seeing increasing numbers of healthy fish, a really significant sign that the town is free from the fallout of the disaster – hopefully those on the outside will see this soon, too.

Most of the fish Krillitane and her colleagues have caught has been deemed safe to eat, so Kes has been experimenting with grilling it.  It’s very strange to eat something that isn’t hot dogs, and for a few days, most of us felt a little ill after tasting it, but this seems to have just been our bodies adjusting to a new foodstuff.  I’m beginning to appreciate the taste of the different types of fish, though it’s still hard to become accustomed to putting something with such a strange taste and texture in my mouth.  Soon, though, my wife and sisters keep telling me, I will be able to taste so many different foods, we all will.  I wonder how long it will take us to adjust.

Kes is working very hard still and the plan she and her colleagues have been working on for a restaurant is really coming together.  Building work has started and they are confident it won’t be long before they have access to the food and equipment they need to produce a range of meals – and until then, they will do the best grilled hotdogs and fish you can get in Riverview!

I have had to spend a lot of time in town talking to the residents here about our constitution.  I needed people to understand how important the suggestions we’ve made are for the future of the town, how close we genuinely are to being reintegrated in the wider world and how seriously they need to consider our future.

Some people are still vehemently opposed to the ideas, but many more are beginning to understand why we’ve made the proposals we have.  Meeting people face-to-face has been really important to me given the furore over my relationship with Gaius.  I don’t need people to approve of him, I understand the deep-rooted reasons why they might not, but I need them to understand who I am and what I stand for, and that even if we disagree on some issues, there may be others we can stand together on.  Not everyone has wanted to talk, and some of those who chose to have been openly hostile towards me – but many others have been interested in talking, have been friendly and welcoming.

Our constitution has been passed with a majority – people are willing for us to set up a new governmental infrastructure that will not only serve Riverview but also allow us to integrate with the world at large.  It will take time for things to be integrated but I truly believe we are on the right path.  My colleagues have asked me to consider applying for the role of Mayor of Riverview.  It’s one of the first publicly elected posts in our council and it would be a great honour to be elected to such a position – but I don’t know if people here trust me enough yet.

In the meantime, I have more important concerns to attend to – a new baby, my second son, Micah.  Anne-Marie had a long and difficult labour and she needs to rest and let me and the rest of the family care for the boys for a while so she can recover fully.  Both of my young sons are so beautiful and I’m so excited about the world that is opening up for them.

But where there are new things, sometimes the old things must die.  Daniel unexpectedly died suddenly last night.  He was barely 70; one of the last members of our community to suffer degenerative health conditions as a result of the accident.  The health of our town is much stronger than it ever was, but there are still a small number of people whose bodies carry the effects of the fallout, such as my aunt Ezri.  We’re developing new medicines all the time, but they can’t help everyone, and Daniel was one of the unlucky ones.

Hirogen is naturally shocked, and devastated.  Here am I with my future and my children’s future opening up before me, and yet her future has suddenly been snatched away.  There are so many opportunities in this town and yet events like this remind us that there’s still so much that is unfair.

I hope with all my heart that Daniel is one of the last people here to suffer and die because of that terrible accident several generations ago. One of my first proposals, if I become mayor, will be to invest more in treatment of such conditions. We are becoming a people of restoration; I cannot stand to let our past hold us back any longer.

4.4 Times of testing

There is a lot that has occurred lately that has caused me to reflect on who and what I want to be.  The birth of my son has been perhaps the most important thing that’s ever happened to me.  I will do anything for Luke, anything to protect him and anything to secure his future.  His birth has brought home to me just how important it is that we do all we can for this town.  I am more convinced than ever that the proposed constitution we have been drafting for governing our town and helping us reintegrate into the world at large is vital.

Unfortunately, there is unrest in the town.  Some people are angry that we are trying to govern them.  There has been no governance here since the accident.  People are afraid, we have just been released from mob rule and they do not want to be constrained.  Others don’t think our proposals go far enough; they want us to issue even more edicts than we have done.  We have a lot of support, but there is a very vocal minority against the proposals, and they might sway the outcome of the forthcoming vote.

Perhaps I myself haven’t helped matters.  By having my uncle Gaius at my campaign events, I have made myself a target.  Gaius and his contemporaries who brought down the Altos massively split public opinion here.  Some people laud them as heroes, defenders and liberators.  Others can’t forgive them for the atrocities they committed, and as Gaius was the main figurehead of the movement to bring down the Altos, he is the main figurehead for both the adulation and the anger.  By me publicly choosing to stand by him, I appear to have become more popular with some of the town and despised by others, who don’t want their future leaders associating with people who were involved in the Alto mob in any capacity.

Hirogen has been trying to print some positive stories about the constitution at the paper, but she can’t avoid printing articles and letters that question what we are doing; the unrest here is too loud to silence.

I am worried; how will we be able to convince people that our constitution is the best way forward?  What if it isn’t?  What if we’re wrong?  We need to be a united people if we are to avoid descending into anarchy – we have so much that is almost within our reach, but if our town becomes fractured and unstable, so much could be lost.

Gaius’s release from prison has been great for my family, though.  My mother is so delighted that he is out and she loves any opportunity to see him.  Ramon, my mother’s cousin, is also pleased to see him; they were childhood best friends and now they are distinguished old men.  Ramon and his sister Shana help run the library, gym and gallery and they are a real asset to this town.

Even my aunt Ezri is pleased to see Gaius released.  She was angry when she first heard about what he’d been doing and the way my mum had compromised the family and their police careers, but the years have caused her to soften.  Since Echo died, I think she’s realised how important all her siblings are to her, and she’s forgiven both Gaius and mum for their deception.

The seed Anne Marie planted has sprouted and so far it looks healthy.  She attends to it every day.  She and Krillitane have been given several more seeds to plant as the research lab are so pleased with the way things are currently working out.  It won’t be long before we truly see the results.  The potential is amazing: we could see trees, flowers, fruit, vegetables, all these things we have dreamed of for generations.

The research lab’s work is developing at a great pace; Krillitane and Anne Marie are always talking about the new projects they are working on.  One of the most exciting is that there is a section of the river that is now clean enough they are seeing signs of life.

They have fenced off the area so they can perform tests and see what life is beginning to flow again.  They have found some plant life and small insects, and they are beginning to see signs that fish are living, and swarming and breeding.  Krillitane has been working on the team investigating the life there.  She says the fish aren’t quite the same as the ones they’d seen in textbooks, but that’s to be expected given the toxicity of the water and soil for so long.  Nevertheless, the mutations appear to be minor and the water and soil samples are coming up clean.  The hope is that fish and insects from the neighbouring towns will migrate here now the water is clean and flowing; that we will have wildlife here once more.

Kes is excited by the potential of fresh fish, fruit and vegetables.  She is reading the books of recipes the survivors created from memory and there are so many things she is keen to try cooking.  She is doing incredibly well in her chef’s training and has dreams of opening a restaurant with some of her fellow cooks.  They have been talking to Ilari and her colleagues about how to set up a business and liasing with the research laboratory and local builders about materials for the building and equipment to prepare meals.  We have had nothing to cook on but grills since the accident and they want the lab to help them develop ovens and other cookery equipment they’ve read about that can be used in the restaurant at first and in homes once the technology has been established.

I am so proud of my wife and my sisters.  They are doing so well at achieving their goals, but I feel so anxious about meeting mine.  I play my guitar a lot and think about Dad.  I wish he was here; he’d know what to say, what I could do.  Everyone loved him; I just wish I had that gift.  I know I need to stand up for what I believe in, but it’s very hard to do so when it alienates some of the people whose support I need right now.

I knew there would be challenges I would face as I entered politics, but it never occurred to me that people might look on me with spite, with fear, with hate.  I know for some it’s because they are hurting from what the Alto mob did.  I know for others it’s because they are afraid of the future, of the changes that may come.  I don’t know how to tell them that I care, and I understand – and I certainly don’t know how to do that and yet tell them I will not compromise on my principles.

Riverview can’t stay as it is, in our isolated bubble; we will be returning to the wider world sooner than people realise, and we need to be ready.

4.3 Taking care of business

We are living in a time of great change.  There is great opportunity here, but all the new things opening up for us inevitably mean the loss of some of our history.  In the same way, as my generation grow and start our own families, so those who went before us are reaching the end of their lives.  My aunt Echo died recently.  Echo was a talented composer who was a major force in establishing our local theatre.  She worked closely with my father, among others, and her music has become one of the signature sounds of our community.  She is a great loss to Riverview.

Yet where there are losses, there are gains.  My uncle Gaius has finally been released from prison.  My mother’s sorrow was somewhat lessened by the joy of seeing her little brother again.  He is a very impressive man.  Whilst some are still angry with him, perhaps understandably, for the crimes he committed whilst working for the Altos, I know he did what he had to do, and he took the consequences and faced his responsibilities.  There are many things about him I admire; his willingness to put himself on the line and take risks for what he believed in; his sense of duty and responsibility; his willingness to take the consequences of his actions.  There is much I can learn from him – I know as I grow into my political role, I will need to take big risks and I will need to face the consequences of my actions.  I only hope I can do it with the dignity he has managed.

In order to get the public to accept our proposed constitution and to trust us as their representatives, we on the committee have decided to hold campaign parties.  These are events where we can gather small numbers of people from the community to talk about the proposals and answer their questions.  I decided to hold my first event at the art gallery last night.  I chose this venue as it’s so special to me, and my family.  I invited all of my family (for moral support!) and several other local residents.

I also invited Gaius.  I was aware this was a controversial move: there could well have been people there whose relatives he harmed in some way.  But I am not ashamed of my uncle, or of what he has done for the town.  Several people shunned him at the party, but others treated him as a hero.  I don’t know if I have made some enemies in town, although I hope not – but I need to be upfront about who I am and what I stand for if I ever have a hope of making a good leader.

My biggest supporter, and my best friend, is my big sister Ilari.  She is a real role model to me, and a true leader.  For some time now, she has been working as part of a taskforce to develop structures of finance and commerce in order to prepare us for reintegration with the wider world.  Part of her remit has been to talk to talented local people to persuade them to turn their skills and talents into profitable businesses.

Although we have a library, which is an amazing resource for the town, Ilari has convinced some of our most popular writers to start producing multiple copies of their books for sale, so people can have their own copies.  The town has some old printing presses from the before times that have lain unused for generations, and a small team of authors have been experimenting with mass reproducing their work for a while – now they’ve developed a system that means we can have a small bookshop next to the library so their works can be enjoyed by more people.

Ilari has also encouraged people to charge more for their talents, and to use their talents to help others.  There are builders talking about going into housing development once they can source the materials to turn our shelters into proper, long-lasting houses.  There are a team of people interested in offering their services to clean or to repair goods.  There is even a small spa business open now with hairdressers, make-up artists and massage therapists.  Anne-Marie was one of the first Riverview residents to use the new facilities – she said the massage really helped her aching back when she was pregnant.

That’s right – we have decided to start a family.  My mother is thrilled, she’s always wanted to be a grandmother.  She keeps saying she wants five grandchildren, claiming that with four children, it shouldn’t be too hard, but I don’t know that either Anne-Marie or I want quite so many children, and none of my sisters seem ready to start their own families yet.

Kes and Krillitane seem so absorbed in their work that they haven’t really thought about settling down with a partner or children yet, and although Ilari has now moved into her own place, has started to really take control of her own future, she’s never talked about children being part of that future.

Anne-Marie had a happy pregnancy; she used her maternity leave to read up on gardening techniques at the library, as well as trying out our new spa.  Our son’s delivery went smoothly and he is a beautiful healthy child.  We have named him Luke.

Having Luke has really sharpened my priorities.  It is so important that we do our best to make this  town free so that he and his generation have the whole world opened up to them.  I love Riverview, this is my home, but I want him to have the freedom to make his home wherever he chooses, to be whatever he wants, to experience everything those of you out there have in your lives.

My new baby is a sign to me of our future, of the new life and the new possibilities open to us.  It seemed almost poetic that only a few days after his birth, Anne-Marie and Krillitane were given an assignment from work that could change our world forever.  Krillitane’s team have been working on methods of irrigating our barren land, and she was given one of the irrigation tools to try out at home.

Despite Anne-Marie still being on maternity leave, they offered her a homeworking opportunity she couldn’t resist.  She was chosen to plant the first seed here in generations.

Life is coming back to Riverview.

Now we must tend to it, nurture it, and wait…

4.2 Taking responsibility

My mother’s always been such a stoical, practical person that it’s shocked me lately to see her reaction to my father’s death.  Though she puts on a brave face in front of us much of the time, I know that when she’s alone, she cries to herself.  I don’t mean to make it sound as if she’s completely falling apart, as she’s still getting on well at work, and spending a lot of time at the new gallery and gym, but in her private moments, she’s hurting.

I suppose I never really expected this vulnerable side to her – she’s always been so strong, so determined.  I guess she saved her weaknesses for when she was alone with my dad.

I told her how worried I was for her, and we had a long talk about my father’s death.  She said she was actually worried about me; that she didn’t think I’d begun to really grieve yet, that I hadn’t let the emotion of the situation hit me.  My sisters all cry from time to time, and mum thinks it’s healthier that way.  She says it’s not that she can’t function without dad, but she loved him so very much that she can’t help but feel sad that he’s gone.

Perhaps I have been trying too hard to avoid my own feelings.  I know I have responsibilities now – to my family and to my town.  I know I have to be strong.  But mum believes strength and vulnerability are not mutually exclusive.

I haven’t cried yet.  Maybe I will, but crying feels alien to me.  My life has not always been easy but there has been very little pain until now.  I’ve not really known grief before and I am still not sure how to handle it.  In my own private moments, though, I have been picking up his guitar.  We loved him playing it so much when we were younger and playing it helps me feel a little closer to him, helps me think that he’s out there somewhere, keeping an eye on us all.  I do miss him, more than I ever imagined I would.  I know as I grow into my new role in this household and as I hopefully take on a more active role in the life of Riverview, I will miss his influence even more.

I’m beginning to understand a little bit more about what responsibility is.  It’s not just decision-making and vision-setting, it’s about taking care of those who are important.

Kes is revising hard for her first round of chef’s exams right now.  She’s spending a lot of time in the library, and can’t cook as often as she’d like.

So sometimes I prepare hotdogs for us all to ease the pressure.  I’m beginning to see what she gets out of cooking – well, a bit.  It gives me time to think, to consider my future and the future of my town.

We will soon be making proposals for a new constitution, what our committee believes is the future mode of governance for this town.  We need to put those proposals to the town to vote.  It’s a very scary prospect.  Although I am excited about our plans, there have been major disagreements within the committee.  I believe we need a system that will allow us to reintegrate with the rest of the world once the sanctions against us are lifted.  Others believe we have an opportunity to forge a new way, our own way.  We have fought hard to create proposals that try to please both camps, but I don’t know how people will take our ideas.  A lot of people in town are excited about the thought of reintegration, of being part of something bigger – but many, many people are afraid.  This is all we’ve known, this town, this way of life, and even the changes since the Altos were deposed, liberating as they have been, have frightened some people who didn’t know how to respond to the new world.  I know some, including my own mother, think change is occurring too quickly and they worry we are being rash.

Ilari, my big sister, is working on a taskforce whose aim is to establish a new business and commerce infrastructure.  She has been out campaigning for people to offer their services in return for payment; people who can run shops, cleaning and repair businesses; who can man administration and government centres.  Money here has always been scarce and other than the money we used to pay to the Altos, has mostly just circulated around the system – it’s been almost a token, an irrelevance.  People here haven’t really worked because they need the money, they’ve worked for bringing us things we need, or on developing things they believe in.  Ilari and her colleagues are proposing radical new changes that will help bring us in line with other towns but will potentially change the whole landscape.  It’s exciting, and necessary, if we are to rejoin the world outside, but I understand the fear.

Krillitane continues to work hard at the research facility.  She is really enjoying her work and the projects they are involved in.  They’re currently testing out ways of creating and distributing power and of utilising our water sources to fertilize the land so that eventually we can grow crops.  They’re hopeful that our river will soon be free enough of pollutants that fish and reptiles from other places begin to flow back into it.  The experiments so far are small-scale, and not all of them work, but the team is so talented and so dedicated, that I’m sure they’ll succeed in their endeavours eventually.  I’m so proud of my sister for getting involved in this.  I can talk, and I can argue my point, and I think I’m good at making friends – but I don’t have the intelligence or resources to do the things she does.

One other thing I have realised lately is that I need a partner to help me with the work I’m doing.  My father’s death and my mother’s response to it has made me understand just how much of a team they were, and how much I want that, how much I need that.  Anne-Marie has been my girlfriend since school – and she’s everything I could ever want in a life partner.  She’s warm, funny, dedicated and attractive.

She works at the research facility with Krillitane, and her main responsibility is researching the history of plant life in Riverview.  She’s very dedicated to the task and is hoping to be one of the people who gets to plant the first seeds here in generations.  All plant life is dead, save the images of grass and plants the artists paint on our pavements and walls for us to look at, but when the sanctions against us are lifted, maybe other towns will trade their seeds with us.  Or maybe, just maybe, we will be able to restore some life ourselves when we are able to find ways to irrigate and fertilise our land.  Anne-Marie and her team are looking into all these possibilities.  Just imagine what it’d be like to see a real tree, or eat a real apple!

Sorry, I forget that you probably already experience these things – but for us, to be able to use the land once more is perhaps the most significant healing that we could hope for.

I don’t tend to get nervous very easily, but I was shaking like a leaf when I proposed to her.  I had the ring crafted by local artists and I was so scared she wouldn’t like it, and more scared that she wouldn’t see me as the kind of person she could settle down with.

But I needn’t have worried.  Anne-Marie knows I need someone to both support me and reign me in, and she’s more than willing to take on the challenge and adventure of being my wife.  I only hope I can support her as much as she needs and prove myself a husband worthy of this amazing woman I’ve married.

4.1 A new vision

My name is Jango Lazarus and I live in the town of Riverview, which you may be aware suffered a horrific nuclear blast several years ago and has been cut off from the world ever since.  Perhaps you have read the dispatches sent from my mother, Firefly.  She has asked me to carry on the tradition of these dispatches, which she carried on from my  grandmother, Chaotica, and my great-grandfather, Alf.  Perhaps this is the first message you have read from us.  Either way, it is my privilege to record the events unfolding in my town.

We are living in exciting times.  For so long we have been isolated from anyone else.  We know a little of your world, from stories passed down through generations, stories our survivors told their children, and their children’s children, but we have no real understanding of what it might be like, or indeed how it must have changed over time.  But I am confident that we will soon see your world for ourselves, and that you will see ours, and that gradually we will be restored to the world, and we can all be a part of something together.  I truly believe Riverview will be restored in my lifetime.

I live with my mother Firefly, my sisters Ilari, Kes and Krillitane and my mother’s cousin, Hirogen.  All of us are committed to making things better here, though in different ways.  My mother works for the local police and has done for many years.  She’s been busy profiling the former members of the Alto mob, a criminal syndicate who until recently had a stranglehold on our town.  She is of an older generation, and I know she has some fears about what might happen when Riverview is freed – many of her generation do, as do some of my peers.  It’s understandable, this is all any of us have ever known, for all its faults and limitations, this is our world, it’s all we know.

Hirogen and Ilari, like me, believe we will be free soon.  Ilari is working hard to ensure we have a business and commerce infrastructure so that we’ll be able to trade within the town, and more importantly, with people from other towns.  Hirogen works as a journalist, and her paper’s stories have been gradually changing in tone since the Altos were deposed from covering the crime in our town, and public reaction to it, to looking towards the future and suggesting ways people can continue to work on the restoration effort.  People have been working to restore Riverview since the accident happened, but this is the first time we’ve ever been able to sense the change coming, really coming.

Since the Altos were deposed, we have had freedom as a town to go where we like and do what we like, but many are calling for us to have some governmental infrastructure.  The police, military and emergency services govern themselves, but nobody governs the town.  As we grow and as we begin to connect with the world out there, we’ll need this.  I am part of a group of people working on proposals for a new constitution.  It’s very exciting to be part of this new process of establishing governance.  Some folk are afraid of big change, worried they might be controlled by the new system we are proposing, but it’s not like that.  We don’t want to go back to the fear and mob rule we had before.  We’ve been studying our history, learning about governance in the before times – learning how we can use it to organise our town without restricting its citizens.  I am so happy to be a part of this, and I just hope my great-grandfather would be proud of what we’re doing.  He’s one of my biggest heroes, though I never met him myself.

Unfortunately, in our hoping and dreaming, there is some sadness.  My father, Eugene Lazarus, who had a real following in town because of his music, sadly passed away recently.  He was an old man, he had a good life, but we miss him so much.  He was such a hero of mine – he followed his dream, he loved what he did, and he made people happy.  If I can even be half the man he was, I will be a success.  At least we have the reassurance of knowing that his death was peaceful and he was happy.

My mother, of course, is in mourning.  Although she is a very pragmatic person and can see that he had a good life and didn’t suffer, she’s naturally devastated at the loss of her great love.  They had been together a long time and have experienced so many joys and so many struggles together.  They were such a solid pairing.  It seems strange to think of her on her own.

We’re doing our best to rally round her, as are my aunts Ezri and Echo.  My uncle Gaius is still in prison for his crimes whilst working for the Altos.  He worked for them in order to undermine their empire, and ultimately was responsible for the mob’s demise.  When we were younger, we knew none of this, but as we’ve grown older, we have discovered more about how things operated during that difficult time.  In my mind, he is a hero, and I hope his release will be secured soon – I think mum would like all her family around her at this time.  Gaius and my dad had their ups and downs, but had managed to reach a level of understanding in recent years, and I know my dad would also wanted Gaius to be released, at least for my mother’s sake.

My little sisters are not so little any longer.  Both of them are now young women and have clear ideas about their purpose in life.

Kes has wanted to be a five-star chef for a long time now.  Our grandfather,  Oscar Lazarus, died just before he qualified as a chef and Kes wants to train to honour his memory, as well as for the sheer love of cooking.  I don’t really understand what she enjoys about it so much – hot dogs are hardly exciting to cook – but perhaps as our town develops we’ll be able to source more ingredients and create new meals – Kes is certainly hoping so.

Krillitane has taken a post at our research facility.  Ever since we had running water restored, a team of researchers have been looking into ways of purifying our water and soil, to restore nature’s balance.  Who knows, maybe we will see fish swimming here again, and maybe one day plants will grow.  They’re also working on restoring the old power systems – not by using nuclear methods, as people are still wary – but trying to find ways of getting the power source you called electricity through other means. Perhaps if we can open trade routes to other towns and cities we may be able to gain access to the power grids from neighbouring communities.  Krillitane is great round the house, she’s always fixing things, and I’m sure she’ll be a real asset to the research team.

Last week, I had the pleasure of attending the opening of our new art gallery.  It’s the first time artists have been able to freely share their work with the town without fear of reprisals.  My mother, aunts and many of their generation stood in awe.  Several people were openly weeping.  This day was something many of them feared would never come, and yet it did.  It’s a sign of things to come.  Who knows, maybe one day you and I will even meet.  Riverview is changing, we are growing stronger and healthier – and we will be restored to you.  I truly believe it.

3.10 A sense of achievement

Things here have become much more peaceful since the Altos’ reign was dismantled.  The art world is blooming now that artists are allowed to practice freely, and work has begun on the new gallery.  Not being forced to pay protection money has given people a new level of freedom, and the atmosphere throughout Riverview is changing.  My brother Gaius has done so much for this town, and wherever I go, people tell me he’s a hero, not a criminal.  He is coping well in prison – it gives him a lot of time to work out and to reflect.  He tells me it is doing him good to reflect on his crimes and think about his future.  I hope he will be released before he is too old.

My children continue to thrive.  They are a real tonic and a great help at home.  Kes is a great cook and is still determined to work towards her chef’s certificate when she finishes school.

Krillitane has a really inquisitive mind and is always thinking of new ideas to improve our quality of life and new solutions to problems.  When she isn’t busy reading or writing out complicated equations, she’s always trying to upgrade our sinks, toilets and showers to make them unbreakable or able to clean themselves.  I have no idea where she gets this from, but it’s very useful having her around!

Jango is still busy getting to know people in town, and he’s getting to know someone special very well indeed.  He has a girlfriend, Anne-Marie.  She seems pleasant enough, but time will tell if this is just a crush or if there’s something deeper to their relationship.

Ilari is still very excited about bringing business back to the town.  She spends all of her work days in planning meetings.  I don’t know how she can sit through so many meetings and still be excited by them, but I am pleased that she seems so happy.  She has big plans for the town and she thinks Jango has a lot of potential to help be an ambassador for us when the embargos against us are lifted.  She thinks someone as charismatic as him can be a real asset in terms of diplomacy.  I do wonder if her head is in the sky but maybe she’s right, maybe we really are on the cusp of becoming part of the wider world again.  I hope she isn’t setting Jango up for disappointment.  They are both idealistic and ambitious but I don’t want their dreams to be shattered.

I am getting older, we all are, but I don’t mind too much.  I feel as though I have had a good life and aging has never really worried me.  I keep active, still exercising regularly and enjoying my work.  I have been painting a lot since the Altos were toppled.  It’s really nice to have art around the shelter and I feel as though in some small way I am honouring my aunts and the others whose art was destroyed by creating something permanent.  I don’t think any of my art will be good enough to go in the gallery, though!

My sisters are also getting older, and I hope they are pleased as they look at all they have achieved in their careers: we have a thriving arts and music scene and we have great new emergency services, all thanks to them and their colleagues.

We have so much to celebrate right now.  Eugene’s music is going so well that people around town call him ‘Riverview’s first rock star’ and ask him for his autograph.  He thinks it’s rather strange, but I know he is flattered by the attention.  Working on the Alto case has also boosted my own career, and I have been promoted to the top of the field.  It’s now my job to liase with the burgeoning team of scientific researchers in town to look at new ways of developing technologies that will help with law enforcement.

I’ve achieved my goals now, and so have Eugene and my siblings.  It feels as though it is the right time to hand over the reigns to a new generation.  With Jango now becoming a young adult, I have had a difficult decision to make about who will be my heir.

I didn’t think it right to put the burden onto Kes or Krillitane.  They are both so young, and with them being twins I didn’t want to enforce anything on them that might lead to rivalry or jealousy.  It had to be one of my older children.

I had a long talk to Ilari and Jango about the decision.  Ilari is the oldest and she knows what she wants from life – and it’s not to have the responsibility of running the family.  She was flattered I’d consider her but she wants to focus on business and doesn’t feel like raising a family or staying in one place for the rest of her life is something she can commit to right now – she sees the future as wide open and the thought of becoming the head of household worries her, she’s afraid it might constrain her.  I’m not angry with her for feeling this way – I have enjoyed the responsibility most of the time, but it has also been incredibly difficult at times, and I just want her to follow her dreams.

Jango, on the other hand, was delighted that I would consider him, and said he would do his best to honour the family name and to raise Riverview.  His conversations with Ilari about being an ambassador for the town have inspired him and he really feels that he and his generation will be the ones to see Riverview restored.  He is proud to live here and proud to be a Lazarus.  I trust him to do a good job, to be responsible and to drive our town and family forward.  I am pleased to know that I am giving him a responsibility he relishes, not one he sees as a burden.

He has promised to continue these communications, so you will soon hear from him.  I’m sure he will tell you about all the plans he, Ilari and their colleagues have for the town.  Who knows, maybe one day you will meet him for yourself.  I don’t expect to see Riverview restored in my lifetime, and I am not entirely sure I want to, but it would be a wonderful miracle if my children or grandchildren could see the freedom and change we have been striving for since the accident.

It’s their time to shine, and I look forward to sharing their journey for however long I have left.

-END TRANSMISSION-

3.9 New found freedoms

I’m now the mother of four very headstrong, lively young people.  It seems as though they were children for such a short while, but now they’re all growing up and have very strong ideas of what they want to become.

The girls were very excited about becoming teenagers.  They know that the older they get, the more permissions there are for them to do things in town, and now teenagers are allowed to spend time at places other than school and home the girls can’t wait to start exploring.

Kes tells me that she’s already decided what she wants to do with her life.  She has plenty of time to change her mind, and I keep telling her this, but she’s pretty headstrong and I’m not sure much will shake her when she’s made a decision.

She has decided to take on the role of house cook and she wants to become a qualified five-star chef.  I have told her how difficult it is to be trained to that standard, especially here where we only have tinned and dried goods to eat, and how hard my own father found it, but she is determined she can do it for the grandfather she never knew, for me and for herself – she has heard that in the before time people had a rich diet with lots of variety and flavour and she wants us to have the same.

Like Kes, Krillitane is making herself very useful around the house.  She’s a very intelligent and resourceful girl.

She’s fed up of things continually breaking and she’s always repairing them.  She tells me she wants to upgrade our sinks and toilets and showers so they will never break again.  I don’t know where she gets this from.  My own grandfather was good around the house but none of the rest of us have enojoyed that kind of work – repairing things is a neccessary evil to me, but Krillitane takes it in her stride.

Ilari and Jango, meanwhile, spend a lot of their time getting to know the people of our town.  Ilari is trying to spread the message about what she and her colleagues are trying to do in establishing a business infrastructure.  I wish her luck, I sometimes feel like an old luddite when she tries to tell me about it.  She and her colleagues are real visionaries and they completely believe the time is coming when other towns will open trade routes to us, when our skies are clear enough that we can be a completely open town.

Sometimes that thought frightens me.  I know it will be good for my children and grandchildren and all future generations to know the world beyond Riverview, but unlike my grandfather and father, this is all I have known.  This is my home, this is my environment.  I want it to be better; I have dedicated my life to that – but do I want it to change?  Do I want the outside world to be open?  I know I should, but I am scared of that possibility.  We know so little of your world, we don’t know how much it has changed since the days of our ancestors, and while Ilari and her friends may relish the challenge, it overwhelms me.  I have never expected it would happen in my lifetime, but Ilari’s confidence makes me wonder if it could.

There is so much change going on in this town at the moment.  I am really enjoying being able to go to the gym, and now we have finally opened our library.

My cousin Shana has worked so hard overseeing this project.  She really wanted to honour her parents and all they did for the education of our town.  She has achieved something spectacular.

The kids spend a lot of time in the library at the moment.  Kes wants to learn all about food from the before time.

Krillitane is reading manuals on how to upgrade our toilets, sinks and showers.  Jango mostly goes to chat to people and get to know the latest town gossip.  The boy has to know everything!

I can’t believe that we have managed to get the gym and library opened.  One day we will be able to open a gallery.  I can feel it.  I hope our parents and grandparents and all those who have gone before us can see what is happening, wherever they are.  I know they would be so proud of our town right now.

There is something even more important I have to tell you.

Tensions have been running high in the shelter for some time.  Eugene has been angry with Gaius over the disappearance of a friend of his.  Gaius kept trying to tell Eugene that in order to achieve his goal to take over the Alto mob and dismantle it, he had to do unpleasant things.  It has really hurt me to see my brother and husband squabbling.  I understand why Eugene is upset, yet I know Gaius has to do this.  I have been putting myself and my family at risk for some time, and it has been hard on all of us.

I have been worried about the effect working for the Altos has had on Gaius.  He has had to do some very nasty things as part of his job – I know, because sometimes I have had to deal with the fallout.  He broke down one night and admitted to me that there was something about the power he had that he found attractive.  He didn’t enjoy hurting people but he did enjoy people looking up to him.

He is afraid the desire for power will become too strong and he won’t be able to control it.  So he asked me a very difficult favour.

Gaius was indeed chosen to take over the running of the Alto mob.  He has achieved what he set out to do.  He immediately called for a stop on protection money being paid, and ordered a reprieve for local artists.  We are now allowed to hang paintings, read novels people have written and begin work on the gallery.  Artists can come out of hiding.  We no longer have to live in fear of thugs collecting protection money.

During his time working for the Altos, Gaius has spread his message to several members of the mob, and enough of them have supported his plans to usurp the power from within that it will be impossible for the elderly Alto brothers and their henchmen to regain their hold.  We as a force have been out arresting people, though I have tried to turn a blind eye towards Gaius’s closest colleagues.  The grip of that evil mob has been broken.  We have a new level of freedom.

Yet Gaius believes he should be punished for the atrocities he committed whilst working for the mob.  He asked me to arrest him, to let him serve his sentence.  He would claim I knew nothing until he confessed.  I offered to find him a safe place, as we did for Gloria, but he refused.  He feels he owes it to those he has done wrong by to receive his dues, and he owes it to himself to get away from the temptation of abusing his power.

And so I have had to make the hardest decision of my life, and put my brother in jail.  He is in a separate cell, away from the Altos and their henchman, and he will serve a much reduced sentence due to his penitence and to the fact that he has done something great for this town that far outweighs the damage he has done.

When he is released, we will both be old people.  I only hope prison will treat him well.  My little brother may have done bad things, but he has released our town into a great freedom, and I admire him as much as my mother, grandfather or any of those who have done seemingly more noble works for our town.  When our history is written, I hope no-one forgets what was won for us by my brother, Gaius Lazarus.

3.8 Charting unknown territory

My children continue to get on so well together.  They’re a real force of nature – I’m beginning to understand what it must have been like for my parents and grandparents to be surrounded by children – it’s never quiet here, never still.  When my mum and her siblings were growing up, things were so much harder than they are now; I can’t imagine what my grandparents went through, raising children with no medical care whatsoever, very little diversions, nothing much in the way of a school.  I don’t want to take any of these things for granted and don’t want the children to, either.

Kes and Krillitane, my youngest, are really close.  I sometimes feel a little jealous of the twins in our family.  My sisters are twins, as were my mother and aunt Cas.  I try to make sure the other two don’t feel left out, or in any way less special, or less included.  I think it helps that they are older than Kes and Krillitane – I was always trying to live up to my sisters when I was their age.  I am trying to encourage the twins to develop their own interests as well as playing together and it seems to be working.  Krillitane is always playing with the block table, while Kes prefers to run around outside.  Both love to read, as does their big sister Ilari.  Jango isn’t as interested in books.  He loves to play games and chat most of all.

My relationship with my own brother continues to be a source of tension.  Lutricia Alto passed away last week and her two elderly brothers are rumoured to be choosing their successor soon.  Gaius has been promoted.  He now oversees the ‘compliance’ teams.  These are the teams of people who ensure no-one steps out of line… and enforce the punishments if they do.  It’s even harder to think about him doing this than to think of him collecting protection money.  He is being trusted with a lot of responsiblity and he believes he has a good chance of succeeding Lutricia as the head of the mob.

Gaius’s activities have also been causing tension between me and Eugene.  An artist friend of his disappeared last week.  He has never really been comfortable knowing what Gaius is doing but up until this point, he trusted me to do what was best for this family and this town.  Now his friend is one of the disappeared he is taking it personally.  He thinks Gaius has become too involved in the mob culture and is losing sight of the original mission.  He is devastated that his own brother-in-law could sanction actions against a good friend of his rather than turn a blind eye.

My husband has always been my rock, my most solid supporter.  What if I am wrong to trust Gaius?  What if Eugene is right and the power has taken him over?  He is so close to his goal, so close to that potential of breaking the stronghold the Altos have on our town… but what if he isn’t chosen?  Or what if he IS and he doesn’t keep his promise?  What will it all mean for my own career?  I am being trusted with profiling the mob’s key figures and sooner or later it will emerge that my brother is one of them.

One person who no longer has to live in fear of the mob is Gloria.  We received word that she died peacefully in her sleep.  Hirogen is devastated.  It has been so hard for her living apart from her mother for so long, and never really being able to see her.  She feels awful that she wasn’t there for her mother when she died.  We are trying to reassure her that this is how Gloria wanted it, that she’d be so proud of all the work Hirogen is doing with the paper.  She is determined to keep working despite her grief, and her anti-protection-money campaign is beginning to gather support.  Gaius always goes quiet when he hears her talking about it.  I am so scared something bad might happen to one of them with these clashing priorities.

There has been plenty to smile about here, too.  My eldest children both recently celebrated birthdays.  My little Ilari is now a fully-grown woman!  I can’t believe I am the mother of an adult already!

The whole family came to celebrate.  Ezri is continuing to produce great music.  Echo has been doing great work establishing an emergency service here, and we now havew a small dedicated team of firefighters and emergency police officers in town.  Ramon and Shana are very involved in the building projects, with Shana overseeing the library.  She’s pouring her heart and soul into it as a tribute to her parents who did so much for the education of this town.

Ilari has set her heart on restoring business to our town.  I am not sure why we need businesses here right now, what they will add to our experience, but she is convinced it is important.  She truly believes the Altos will be toppled soon and that it won’t be long before some of the restrictions against our town our lifted and we can trade with other towns.  She thinks we need a business and commerce infrastructure establishing now to cope with these events when the time comes.  I can’t claim to understand when she talks about markets and trade and all these things.  We learned about them in history at school, but it always seemed so alien, so remote, so pointless to me.  But she is very excited about it and I am excited to see her trying to do something new here.  I don’t fully understand her vision but I will support her – she is a bright young woman and very determined.  I have no doubt she can achieve whatever goals she sets herself.

Jango is growing up to be very good looking and as confident as ever.  I get a feeling I might have to watch him as he grows, I can see him attracting a lot of attention from the girls at school and I don’t want him to have too many distractions from his school work!

One of the most exciting developments I can report is that we finally opened a gymnasium this week.  My cousin Ramon has overseen the build and all of us, and many of our friends and neighbours, have helped out where we can.  I cried when I went to the opening.  I thought of all those who’d gone before, and particularly my mother, who’d made our town’s fitness her primary concern.  To have such a facility here would be beyond her wildest dreams.

We even had a small swimming pool built.  I have heard of such things from the before times, and people have been researching them for some time.  Taking my first steps into the water was nerve-wracking yet very exciting, much like when we got our first shower at home.  I was afraid I might drown but I was told to trust my body and let it power me.  Within an hour I was moving through the water… it was amazing.

Stepping into that water was like stepping into our future… terrifying, unknown… but so full of potential.

3.7 Brothers and sisters

I can’t believe how quickly my children are growing up.  As they grow, all four of them are developing such strong personalities.  I can’t wait to see what they’ll become.  Every day our town offers more possibilities for them, as people work to rebuild it.  Work has begun on the library and gym – it’s such a testament to the work of our parents and grandparents that we can now, as a community, begin establishing things they only dreamed of.  I wonder what kind of legacy my own children will establish.

Jango, my son, is such a charming little boy.  He’s making lots of new friends at school and he loves all of his sisters very dearly.  He’s so protective of the younger ones, and he looks up to his big sister Ilari a great deal.  I’m so glad – my big sisters and my little brother are so precious to me – Jango’s the middle child, just as I am, and I’m pleased that so far he’s finding the role a blessing not a curse.  I was so desperate to be like Echo and Ezri when I was his age, but Jango seems more sure of himself, happy to be his own person.  It took me a few years to realise that I didn’t have to emulate anyone else, that I could be a good, strong person all by myself – but Jango doesn’t seem to have any issues with his confidence.

He was so eager to help out with the girls.  He’s a born entertainer, always trying to make them laugh, or playing little games with them.

They both think he’s wonderful.  I only hope it can stay that way.  There is so much difficulty in my relationship with my own brother, Gaius, right now, and I don’t want any of my children to face something so strenuous.

The girls are now at school, as well.  They were so excited to be big girls at long last, and they’re very excited about being able to get on the bus with Ilari and Jango each day.

Kes has jet black hair, like my mother.  She’s very carefree and takes life in her stride.

Krillitane, like Jango, has my hair colour.  She sometimes seems a little serious, but she’s very clever, always thinking about something.  All four of them have such different personalities and interests.

Ilari is doing very well at maths at school, and she’s been really involved in the building projects.  She wants to know all about the costs and strategies.  She’s not particularly interested in exercising herself, although she likes reading, but she really sees how important it is to us, and to this town.

Eugene is still really enjoying his music work.  He, Echo and the others are doing great things at the theatre.  The Altos have relented so much that they can now play two concerts a week.  It’s everyone’s highlight, something that is really helping this town feel united.  So much love and creativity is going into the shows.  I just wish my aunts Byzantium and Cas had lived to see how much the scene is thriving.  One day we’ll have art everywhere, I just know it.  One day we’ll get our gallery and the artists will no longer be persecuted.  If only they could have seen that day.

The kids are all big fans of the music.  Krillitane says that daddy is her hero.  Eugene is really touched.  Sometimes he feels a little insecure about being part of my family – he says he feels there’s so much to live up to.  I tell him that it’s daft to think that way – I didn’t marry him with any expectations of who he’d become or what he’d do, I married him because I love him for who he is.  I don’t want my kids to feel any pressure from being part of this family, either.  I am proud of my family and all that we’ve done to help our town, but I want my husband and children to be themselves, not strive to live up to some imagined ‘ideal’ of what a Lazarus should be.  Nevertheless, to see that he’s inspiring the kids is something that makes us both smile.

Hirogen is getting a name for herself around town.  She’s finally got her newspaper off the ground, and she’s written some very supportive articles about the building works, as well as keeping everyone informed of the births, marriages and deaths in Riverview.

However, she’s always looking for a new story, a new expose.  She’s learned the trick we sometimes use in policing of rummaging through bins to find gossip and information.  I’m not supposed to approve of journalists doing this.  I’m supposed to stop them – but she’s my cousin and I don’t want to discourage her from her new venture.  Besides, I wouldn’t be surprised if they dug up leads that we might miss.

I am troubled by the paper’s latest campaign, though.  Hirogen has long hated the protection money racket, and she and her colleagues are campaigning to get people to refuse to pay it.  I am afraid of what will happen if people take up this challenge.  Every week we have to pay the Altos for the privilege of owning our furniture and other posessions.  Money is scarce in this town as it is, no-one is particularly well paid, and there’s no money coming in from the outside, so everyone hates that the Altos are able to keep getting richer and richer, that we pay them just for the privilege of living in our own shelters.

But the repercussions are severe if it isn’t paid.  Houses wrecked, posessions taken, people beaten up, others simply ‘disappearing’…

Gaius’s latest role in the Alto mob is to ensure people pay their protection money.  He says he hates it, but if he wants to rise to the top, he has to do it.  He says he has no choice.

I see him sneaking around with bags that I’m sure can’t contain anything good.  I don’t know if he’s just carrying money, or if he’s taking things from people; things they no doubt strived hard to salvage or buy.  I can’t cope with the thought that he might be taking away something really important or precious from someone who has done no wrong.  And he’s very strong, very athletic… I don’t even want to contemplate the physical threat he might pose.

He tells me he doesn’t want to do it, that it’s a temporary stage in the career, that everyone has to do it, and that soon he’ll rise up the ranks so that he won’t have to take part in it any longer.

But sometimes, when he doesn’t realise I’m on my patrol, I see him leaving the warehouse, and there’s a smile on his face that sickens me.

At work, I have been promoted.  They want me to start working to profile criminals.  They want me to write a report on Gaius’s colleague Ronny to start with.  With Hirogen and the other journalists working to expose the mob, with the force trying harder to prosecute known members of the mob, the net is closing in on them.  If Gaius is genuinely going to dismantle the whole operation as he claims, I hope he does it soon… because I don’t think I can keep hiding his secret much longer.

3.6 Times of transition

There has been a lot of cause for celebration here lately.  We have had a lot of birthdays to celebrate.  Eugene became an elder.  I think he’s a little embarrassed by it – he feels musicians should be younger, more attractive – but he still looks great to me.  He’s a wonderful guitarist, and a great father and husband – and he still has a real sparkle in his eyes that makes me melt.

We held a joint party for Ilari and Hirogen and encouraged them to dream big dreams as they blew out the candles on their cakes.  I can’t believe I am the mum of a teenager already!

It wasn’t just a party for the girls, either.  It was also Jango’s birthday.

Ilari decided the first thing she wanted to do after she blew out her candles was to help Jango celebrate his birthday.

He is such a beautiful little boy, and very inquisitive about the world around him.  I wonder what he will become.  He seems to grab people’s attention very easily and he’s always very eager to discover the world around him.

I know I’m biased, but I think Ilari is growing up to be a beautiful young lady.  She looks alot like my sister Ezri.  She is a very sweet natured girl, very generous, always willing to help out around the home.

Echo managed to sneak Gloria into the party undercover.  It’s very dangerous for her to leave her safe place but she was desperate to see her daughter become a woman.  It was an emotional time for both of them – we never know whether each time we see Gloria will be the last.  I’m glad she saw what a gorgeous, kind woman Hirogen has grown into.

She also took Gaius aside during the party to speak to him.  I don’t know what she said.  I hope she was simply warning him to be careful.  Despite my huge reservations, I have decided to allow him to remain in my home for now.  He is my little brother and I love him, and I desperately want to believe him about his plans to destroy the Alto regime from within.  It is the riskiest thing he could do, and allowing him to stay here is the riskiest thing I could do.  Only Eugene and Gloria know the truth.  If Ezri found out it would kill her, and I don’t know that Echo or Hirogen would take it well, either.

Life in our shelter is becoming busy and full once more.  Our daughters, Kes and Krillitane complete our family.  Now I am a mum of four beautiful children I feel like I have grown up so much.  Taking care of their needs, the needs of this household and the needs of my town are the most important things in the world to me.  I only hope those priorities won’t conflict with each other.

Hirogen has decided to stay here until she has established herself.  She has had a crazy idea.  Spurred on by her love of writing and reading, she’s decided to start a newspaper for the town to report all the latest goings-on here.  I don’t know how she will make much money from it, but she’s already writing a story about the planned regeneration projects.  The gym and library are now under construction, and though it will be a slow process, the people in town are very much behind these projects and everyone’s getting involved.  The Altos might not be prepared to let an art gallery rise up here yet but there is little they can do to prevent the other buildings – they know they can’t argue against a gym or a library.  With the theatre still going strong, our town will soon be much more alive than I’ve ever known it.

I can’t wait for the library – it will be so nice for the kids to have somewhere to go and do their homework.  Ilari is enjoying her new lessons at school but is finding the transition harder – her homework is getting much more taxing.  She loves maths, though, and she’s always begging to help me and Eugene with the family budget.

With three toddlers in the house, life is very busy.  Kes, like Jango, hasn’t got any hair yet, but Krillitane has a full head of hair, the same colour as mine and Ezri’s – which we inherited from our grandfather, Alf.  Having Hirogen, Ilari and Gaius around to help with the little ones is a real blessing, and Gaius is much more attentive to them than I ever imagined he’d be.

Only I am still concerned about him.  Last night he had a friend over to visit.  Someone called ‘Ronny’.  I know that there’s a Ronald in the Alto mob.  He has a very nasty reputation indeed.

He is not the kind of man I want anywhere near my home, and I told Gaius he had to leave.  They’d been talking in hushed whispers all night and I am not happy with this at all.  Gaius keeps saying I have to trust him, but I am so worried that he’s getting in too deep, or that he’s in some way being seduced by the power working for the mob affords him.

I have to think of my children – is having their uncle here really a means of striving for a better world, or is it putting them in danger?